Hello everyone, how are all of you doing? I hope all is well in your world. Well today I am going to talk about how I handled my marriage ending. So here we go.
The beginning of November was not good. My then wife told me she was not sure if she was in-love with me. I did not take that to well, that night I ended up sitting on the railroad tracks hoping the train would run my ass over and end my miserable life. While I sat there my emotions were mixed part of me new I should stay alive for my family, but its sad to say that didn't matter to me. I wanted to end my life over my lovely ex-wife not loving me. What kind of person does that make me? Human, someone with a mental illness that don't know how to deal with bs like that.
Well this angel in a white SUV called the cops on me, needless to say the cops in this town surrounded me, two cops, two sheriff and two state troopers, wow is all i can say. For the most part that is not the best way to deal with me, because i hate cops. The funny part is the cop that dealt with me was the cop i hated the most. For the first time that this guy has dealt with me he was actually nice to me. LOL i wasn't so nice to him though, i tried to be defiant. He told me that he wanted me to go to the hospital and i told him i didn't want to and what was he going to do to me. He was very straight forward with me and told me i wouldn't like what they would have to do. So i ended up going and getting some help.
Unfortunately it didn't do anything for my marriage it ended two weeks later. I have now been divorced for a month and a half. And it is really hard to deal with sometimes. Going to bed alone is probably one of the hardest to deal with. I have cried and and been depressed, angry, i have hated her, been man at her. And do to mental health issues i want to hurt her. But with help from family and my mental health workers and my dear friends i have been able to deal with it. They have me on anti-psychotic meds that help me with my moods and mind. So that really helps. I am doing better now, and life is not as bad. I am making it day by day.
I want to say thank you to my sister and my brother in law for all they have done for me. I wouldn't of been able to do it without you. THANK YOU
I hope you all have a good night. Sorry i didn't write more on mental health.
Dustin
